Considerations apply

You’ve heard that it’s good to share stuff ups.

You know that it helps you to connect with others, learn and even grow.

But how do you do it?

Here’s three conditions I apply to help people Flearn, which means ‘f&!k up & learn’.

Help people feel ready to share

‘Yeah, yeah Jacinta….tell me something new!’ I know you know this. You read my blog. I’ve been banging on about this for years.

But I’ve lost count of how many times I still see connection being overlooked. Consider my repetition as a public service to workshop participants.

Imagine you’re turning up to a workshop knowing you’ll need to share a stuff up.

You might have butterflies. Your cheeks are a bit red. Your mouth is dry. You’re flipping through your mental library of stuff ups.

So, I give Flearners like you plenty of time to connect to each other and the purpose of the session, which is: to share our stuff ups to connect, learn and grow.

We start with a physical activity that is guaranteed to make even the most coordinated person stuff up, at least once. You giggle and relax. You’re warmed up to share your mistakes.

Help people feel safe

Your butterflies will only disappear if you feel it’s safe to share. What that looks like might be different for you and another person in your group.

So, I give you time on your own to think about what will help you share stuff ups.

Then I invite you and your fellow Flearners to write them up on a whiteboard, building on each other’s words.

You agree what you need to feel safe to contribute together. You talk about how to keep each other accountable. You consider what you’ll say if someone is not keeping to the spirit of your agreement.

Help people flearn not flounder

Now you’re set up for a safe conversation, you’re busting to share your stuff ups and hear others. You can’t wait to jump in.

Not quite so fast. I take the time to show you ‘how’ with a volunteer Flearner. They share, following three simple instructions, and I listen.

This shows you that you must:

• Answer the three questions in the allocated time

• ‘Zip it’ when another Flearner is sharing

• Not jump in with ‘that’s happened to me!’ or offer solutions

As one Flearner told me, ‘…your structure kept it from going into the detail of any trauma.’

These three elements underpin the sharing part of my Flearn workshop.

Next time, I’ll talk about what happens after the sharing. How the Flearns are packaged up, what Flearners like you do with them in the room, and where they might take you once you leave it.

Thanks for reading this far.

Stay (fl)awesome!