Hello and unwelcome

Me: “Table for two please.” 

Them: “Breakfast or coffee?” 

Me: “Coffee thanks.” 

Them: “Sure. You have 45 minutes.” 

Me: 🫤 

What an unwelcome. I wonder how much time you got for breakfast. 

I’m used to getting a heads up on time limits when I book an early dinner at a restaurant. You need to be done by 8.45 if you book dinner for 6.30. But a café at 9.30am? When most of the tables are free?   

We felt under pressure. We had our coffee and left on time because that's roughly how long a catch-up coffee takes. We went somewhere else next time. Plenty of cafes around. 

About a month later, the cafe closed. No, I did not make that up for dramatic effect. 

My manager would have fired me if I’d made customers feel that unwelcome when I was a waiter. I didn’t know it then, but waiting tables turned out to be better training for facilitation than anything I was studying at university. 

One of the things it taught me was that how you welcomed people into the café or restaurant set the tone for their whole experience. Everyone deserved the same warm welcome, from the besuited professional to the couple in their tracksuits. 

So, I always make space to ask, ‘what will make the people coming to this workshop feel welcome?’ when I’m designing a workshop. It can’t be taken for granted.  

I remember one of my clients had to show her junior team members how to make local residents feel welcome at a workshop.  

She showed them to stand up at the table, not to sit behind it. How to warmly welcome people as they arrived, to look them in the eye, introduce themselves and say ‘welcome. To give them a name tag, show them where to put their things and usher them into the room. She left nothing to chance. 

I don't leave this to my clients alone. As the facilitator, I'm engaging people from the moment they arrive. That means saying hello, shaking their hand, maybe asking them about their morning. Showing them where to get water and where to put their bags. Giving them something to do or talk about while they settle: a question written above the coffee station, or a set of question cards to choose from. 

I’ll never really know why that café closed. But I know how it made us feel when we walked in. 

© Jacinta Cubis

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Stay (fl)awesome!