Nobody stays lost in groups

You’re in a workshop, listening to instructions. You understand every single word and yet, cannot string them together to make sense of them.

What do you do? Do you:

• ask for clarification?

• nod along, hoping someone else would ask questions?

• dive in, hoping that you’d pick them up from the rest of your group?

I dived in last week, playing board games with a group of francophones. (That’s people who speak French, not a device).

I get so much joy from having conversations in French. I’m told my accent is good, but that has its drawbacks. French people often speak to me as fast as they do to each other, believing I can understand as well as I (apparently) speak.

The instructions for the board game washed over my head.

I nodded along as the instructor spoke—unwisely, as it turns out. I didn’t want my fellow players to lose confidence in my French language skills. Nor did I want to slow them down.

You’d think this would be a recipe for disaster.

Not so fast.

My three French playing mates had happily, understood the instructions. I watched and listened as closely as I could as they took their turns. When it came to my turn, I managed to make a logical first move. I breathed with relief and relaxed.

As we worked our way through building castles, roads and the odd Abbey, I slowly picked up the objective, and what made for a smart move.

I was also humbled by the kindness of strangers, my playing mates — with apologies to Tennessee Williams.

The jeweller from Madagascar gently pointed out that he’d get a castle if I put a tile in that spot. The young head chef from Lyon showed me another way to close off a road, rather than give it away to him.

They could have benefited from my ignorance of the rules. But I think they were interested in having a good game and wanted all of us to play as equals. So, they were kind instead.

I bet someone in one of my workshops over the years has nodded along without a clue about what I just said. I bet their group didn’t let them stay lost either. I’d bet that very few do.

I don’t often repeat my instructions. I’ll clarify if asked, but I find that groups will not let anyone stay lost for long.

Have you ever felt lost in a group and been carried by them to get the work done? I’d love to hear about it.