I said sorry. She didn't care.

Humble pie is not the most appealing dish on the menu. 

It’s bland and tough to swallow. 

The longer you leave it, the harder it is to stomach. 

How about when it sticks in your throat?  

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It was always going to be a tricky session. Red flags galore! Enough to close a beach during a king tide.  

My client had warned me about one participant – ‘difficult’. I’ve never found such warnings helpful. 

It’s hard to ‘unhear’ that. So, when her hand shot up in the air to demand a response to a long-standing question, I redirected her.  

Her question would have opened everything up before we'd even begun. I was protecting the process. That's what I told myself. 

But I shut her down. 

That’s what she heard. That’s what she felt.  

It doesn’t matter if I was polite, gentle or diplomatic. If I thanked her for her contribution. That there’d be time for that topic ‘later’. You know, the ‘shit facilitators say’ 😉(link below).  

The point is she felt shut down. We all felt her withdraw. 

I said sorry. She crossed her arms. 

I said sorry. She held up her hand in a stop sign at me.  

I said sorry. She told me to move on.  

I did and it was tough. Holding the group while not being okay inside. 

Redirecting someone is sometimes exactly the right call. But how it lands depends on who's in the room, not just what's in your plan.  

Anyone can do the right thing badly. It’s important to eat that humble pie whether or not you’re forgiven. 

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If we’ve worked together before, you might ask why I’d share this. You may not want to work with me again.   

It’s because I like to do everything I ask my groups to do, and lately, they’ve been sharing their stuff ups and mistakes.  

It can be embarrassing. It can hurt. 

And eating humble pie does not always lead to forgiveness or redemption. 

It can cause indigestion that still grates, years later. 

When’s the last time you ate humble pie and how did it taste? 

 © Jacinta Cubis

Thanks for reading this far! 

Stay (fl)awesome!